Decline of Gaming and Etc etc

 It's been a damn long time since I updated. So much has happened over the past weeks that I don't even know where to start. But here's a thought:


Gaming just isn’t satisfying anymore, which is strange for me to even see myself typing since I’ve been pretty reliant on video games for many things. The past week especially playing games just feels empty and without substance along with that I’ve felt an odd disconnect from reality. The passage of time has been a blur, most likely attributed to my lack of a sleep schedule, but I can’t help but think there is an underlying cause. It’s been an odd shift from “I wish the days would just end” to “I wish there were more hours to the day” and along with that, it’s becoming harder to define what is a day anymore. Within any given 24 hour period there is some sleeping, eating, gaming, chatting, and sometimes some productivity. Sometimes.


So here’s my theory about all this. Gaming offered an escape from reality, an alternate universe so to speak with different rules and methods, which is why they were always so enjoyable. After a long day, why not take a break from the world and immerse myself in a way of functioning that was different from the rest of the day. Video games were a singular source of entertainment, relaxation and distance. Except the problem lies in that it is disconnected from everything else and after a while that disconnect grows larger until it’s a gaping maw. Now I want back in, to close the gap, a desire for a more real existence perhaps? Of course any big change throws everything haywire. Rejection reaction perhaps. Mind and body gets all sorts of confused as it tried to adapt to a new environment. Or perhaps, readjust to a previous one.

In anycase.

Wtf its almost 3. I should get to sleep.
Oh and on a sidenote, I’m seriously considering writing out Lilium again. If anyone wants to read the prologue I’ve cooked tonight I’ll send a copy over.