To The Point

Fragments

2010-05-21T01:47:00.002-04:00

It’s been a while since my last post. The break hasn’t been for a lack of ideas on what to write, more so too many ideas. Too many fragments of ideas, half baked text documents left unfinished. Now as I am typing this I wonder if the fate of this document will be to join the others in a folder of unfinished documents.

Exam week has come and gone. Stresses were high, resulting in physical problems for once. Grades were “meh” at best. Definitely need to step it up or else bad shit will certainly happen.

The other night my delusions of being in good mental shape were broken by a simple game, Brain Age for the DS. I found myself getting caught on simple math problems. There was no pattern as to what type of problems I would get stuck on, and the problems were as simple as they could be. Yet I got stuck arbitrarily which was frustrating. As if to confirm this, today I made a mistake and it took the mistake to be obviously pointed out to me along with a few additional minutes for me to realize the problem and for the full emotional response to kick in.

Iron Man 2: B

Movie had good action scenes, too much yackity yack from some characters that really needed to STFU and not enough from characters that needed more development. Robert Downey Jr. always funny.

Shutter Island: A (?)

Disturbing and mind opening psychological mystery that managed to give me the chills. Need to watch at least two more time.

Splinter Cell Conviction: (Single player only) B

This game is lawlz. Short single player, interesting production values. Random shits and giggles.

Beat Hazard: C

Lack of responsiveness from the game and not accurate controls hurts the rating. The way it makes my eyeballs melt and then implode increases the rating.

And thus concludes my most incohesive post.

Twinkle Twinkle…

2010-05-05T05:01:00.002-04:00

I consider myself a bit of an astronomy nut, especially with stars. So after a long day of many unfortunate events but good exercise (running from Van Munching to Hagerstown dorms, then back to Van Munching in dress shoes and pants), lying on a picnic bench and staring at a star for a good long while was perhaps the second highlight of my day.

A simple spark in the night sky, defined by a single five letter word, holds within it some of the most complex and powerful forces in the universe. Billions of particles are constantly colliding to actually create energy that takes hundreds thousands, if not millions, of years. Gravitational forces strong enough to contain and maintain the constant all the volatile energy. All this is occurring in an object so large that no eye can possibly witness, all at a distance beyond our reach. And yet all we see is a single speck in the sky.

Somehow, a single word describes all this, something that is just barely understandable, complicated beyond the point of imagination unless in a small scale, and impossible to control. Life without it would literally and figuratively not be as bright. On long days and tiring nights, I do believe it provides a sense of hope for the next day.

Oh and after all that, I stood up from the bench too fast, lost balance and face planted into the ground.

Random updates + Lilium pilot chapter

2010-04-07T02:40:00.000-04:00

First a little clean up from my previous post.

Thank you Wenfei for your insightful comments on my last post. Your comment was three times as long as my post. I think I speak for many when I saw "Holy shit!" Had a lot of insightful bits, drenched in your usual sexual references. Much appreciated =)

Also, I said DECLINE of gaming, not stock market crash kaboom of gaming >.> CP's fail internet is aiding things along though since its nearly impossible to play a decent multiplayer match without shouting "OH GOD I'M FROZEN" and watch everything unfold in front of my eyes at hyper speed 10 seconds after it actually happened.

The following is the prologue and chapter 1 of my foray into writing some stuff. Shout outs to Vic and Ryan for their proofreading. No shout out to MS Word for its quirky formatting and strange inability to remove dashes that it automatically filled in.

Lilium (Pilot)

Prologue

Year 3 - Return

Three years. Three years is a long time to chase and flee. It wears down the mind as much as the body. Has it really been three years? He could not feel his legs anymore. Three years? Arms felt numb, but his fingers still moved, barely. Or is it four… A cough, and blood leaked into his mouth, the metallic iron seeped into his tongue. Wouldn’t the first year count as year zero? How much time has actually—

A blow to the head disoriented him from his thoughts. He felt more fluid ooze down his face, sticking to every pore. Vision blurred back and he saw the same image he saw for hours; pristine clean white walls, shelves of beakers, and precision instruments. Expensive equipment, none of which wanted to be contaminated with his blood. And yet there he was in the center of this vault of science, shackled by the arms and legs, face to face with a man twice his size who now just appeared as a shroud of black. Three years right? Let’s just say its three years, so then this is year two. It became harder to think, too many blows to the head, too much blood on the ground. Okay so this is year two. He saw the next blow come and braced his body.

Moments passed before he regained his thoughts. Breathing became wheezing. A few blinks of the eye to clear out the redness. There was a stabbing pain in his chest that radiated to his head. Definitely cracked a rib or two there. Punctured lung? Perhaps. If so I’ve got about twenty minutes or so left. The shroud finally spoke.

“Last chance Damon. Where is Lilium?” He pulled out a pistol, a click and the safety was off.

A giggle. Where is Lilium? What a stupid question! Now Damon was laughing, every expedited breath for every laugh shot riveted across his entire body. The question was too funny though, he could not stop laughing. The look of frustration on the shroud’s face snapped into something far more malicious.

“You don’t get it do you?” Cackling laughter. “She’s dead. She is dead.” Raucous laughter. Damon coughed and saw crimson fly from his mouth. Guess that was my lung after all. His words were interrupted by the staccato of gasping laughter. “Dead. Dead. Dead. She is dead. She is dead! Dead!”

Three years. Four years. It doesn’t matter. She’s dead. She’s gone. And all you can ask is where she is. Idiot.

Roar of laughter. Roar of gunpowder.

A grey smoke lingered in the air.

Chapter 1

Year 0 – Declarations

It is ten minutes from the start of a new year and the energy could be felt coursing through the air even at the usually quiet, out of place bar. Toby ordered another two more Scotches and passed the second one to his friend, Harrison.

“So you are going to make it to the wedding right?”

“Harrison, I’m your best man, of course I’ll make it.”

“Alright, I’m just worried that’s all.” They both took a long drink, and then Harrison spoke again, “Five dead in that last attack? They blew off a chunk off of that building and you’re not worried at all?”

Toby let out a slight chuckle. The drink was getting to him. “Of course I’m worried. It’s the best paying job out there though. I’ve got to deal with these student loans chewing up my ass left and right.” He glanced at his friend; Harrison did not look very reassured.

“Anways,” Toby continued, “the heck are you doing here with me in a bar, shouldn’t you be with your fiancé?”

“She’s out in Germany for a business trip. I’ve got one last hurrah with you before getting into married life.”

Toby raised an eyebrow. “Geez, you might want to call her or something, I’m sure she’ll like it.”

“Good old Toby, always know what to do for the ladies.”

The two friends laughed and drinks were had. People in the bar started gravitating towards the TV and the ball drop that was to welcome the new year.

===

The keycard swiped through, disengaging the metallic locks with a heavy thud. Andrew Ferguson put the card back into his pocket and walked past the two armed guards stationed at the blast proof door. He entered a room far too empty and bare for its sole inhabitant. A plastic desk in one corner, light in the center, and on the other corner there sat one little girl on her bed, waiting for the man to walk through the door.

Ferguson took a few steps in, his footsteps hitting the ceramic floor with an uncomfortable weight, and like clockwork, the guards closed the doors behind him. Every step he took made a slight echo in the windowless room, until he finally reached the girl on her bed.

She was small with pale skin that had been denied the nourishment of sunlight. Faded brown hair and dim green eyes were the only hints of color, other than the plastic center IV line with a bright blue cap coming out from her right arm. It’s for my cancer she would tell the other children at her secluded private school. With that the other children would leave her alone, not wanting this cancer and plastic protruding from their bodies.

“Hey honey,” Ferguson whispered, fearing that somehow the guards would be able to hear through the soundproofed doors. “How have you been today?”

The girl settled into bed, “I’m tired. I had to sit in the chair for hours today.” Ferguson patted the girl on the bed and proceeded to pull the sheets over her small frame.

“Were you a good girl and sat very still?”

She tilted her head up and down, “Yes, but then I felt very sleepy afterwards. I don’t feel sleepy anymore. Can you tell me a story?”

He gave a weak smile. “There was once this beautiful princess with long flowing hair--”

The girl squirmed under the blankets. “I already heard that one, tell me another one.” Ferguson looked around the room and tried to recall old children’s stories from his past. Ten years. Ten years old. She knows so little and yet I can’t find one good story to tell. How did Snow White--

Two knocks on the door broke his recollections. His watch notified him of the time, there were just a few minutes left before midnight and before his time was up.

A yawn came from the girl, her eyes weighing down, “Can I see Mommy?”

===

Two quick coughs from the silenced pistol and the guard who had once been standing so vigilant now lay in a deepening pool of his own blood. The machines he spent his life protecting sustained their unwavering hum.

Such a silent little monster you are. The shooter put his hands on the chamber and felt the heat dissipate. Such devotion you have.

The shooter stepped towards the machines. Stacks of computer servers, disk drives, crisscrossing cables and blinking lights radiated a silent energy. Millions of dollars of electronics holding unfathomable amounts of research were in this room, just one room of dozens, everything labeled with the much coveted GeneTech logo.

The fourth and eleventh are all that is needed. The corresponding parts of the machine were removed with care and the shooter neatly tucked them into his coat pocket. He started to walk out the door, but stopped to kneel next to the dead guard.

===

Glasses chimed across the bar as the hour struck midnight and cheers for the new year were heard.

“A toast, to your wedding and married life.” Toby raised his glass.

“And to you, hopefully you’ll have a woman in your life at some point.”

The friends laughed as they enjoyed the last of their drink. Toby felt the cool burn of liquid down his throat and his mind was set at ease.

===

Ferguson pulled out a silver necklace with an L pendant dangling at the bottom.

“L for Lily.”

The girl caught a glimpse of the metal in front of her eyes, her words crawled out of her mouth as she succumbed to sleep. “L… for my name too right? Will I…I ever get a necklace,” Another yawn. “Like that?” She was asleep.

Ferguson slowly rose from the bedside.

“This will be yours Lilium, when you are free.”

Ferguson slipped the necklace back into his pocket and signaled the guards to let him out.

=====

With pistol firmly pressed against the lifeless skull, the shooter muttered words only the dead have heard as the weapon coughed again.

“In somnis veritas. I am the Shepherd and you are not worthy of the Flock.”

Decline of Gaming and Etc etc

2010-04-04T02:56:00.000-04:00

It's been a damn long time since I updated. So much has happened over the past weeks that I don't even know where to start. But here's a thought:

Gaming just isn’t satisfying anymore, which is strange for me to even see myself typing since I’ve been pretty reliant on video games for many things. The past week especially playing games just feels empty and without substance along with that I’ve felt an odd disconnect from reality. The passage of time has been a blur, most likely attributed to my lack of a sleep schedule, but I can’t help but think there is an underlying cause. It’s been an odd shift from “I wish the days would just end” to “I wish there were more hours to the day” and along with that, it’s becoming harder to define what is a day anymore. Within any given 24 hour period there is some sleeping, eating, gaming, chatting, and sometimes some productivity. Sometimes.

So here’s my theory about all this. Gaming offered an escape from reality, an alternate universe so to speak with different rules and methods, which is why they were always so enjoyable. After a long day, why not take a break from the world and immerse myself in a way of functioning that was different from the rest of the day. Video games were a singular source of entertainment, relaxation and distance. Except the problem lies in that it is disconnected from everything else and after a while that disconnect grows larger until it’s a gaping maw. Now I want back in, to close the gap, a desire for a more real existence perhaps? Of course any big change throws everything haywire. Rejection reaction perhaps. Mind and body gets all sorts of confused as it tried to adapt to a new environment. Or perhaps, readjust to a previous one.

In anycase.

Wtf its almost 3. I should get to sleep.
Oh and on a sidenote, I’m seriously considering writing out Lilium again. If anyone wants to read the prologue I’ve cooked tonight I’ll send a copy over.

Scotch is awesome. I mean the tape brand!

2010-02-27T03:45:00.002-05:00

Its 2:40 am on a Friday night / Saturday morning after a long week and I cant fall asleep. Figures.

I tried reading a book, Lila: An Inquiry Into Morales to be precise, written by the same author as Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. It didn't work...It was a very strange feeling. I couldn't take the words as literature, phrases with meaning and artistry. All I saw was black ink on paper, text...data. To top it off, its data that I cannot understand, and have no motivation to. Three pages in and I couldn't go on any longer, I wasn't even "reading" the book, I was "scanning" it for something, exactly what I don't know.

Sometimes I wonder if I clean out this room, or move into a new one this insomia will go away. Sometimes I also wonder if I should just keep a stash of NyQuil, but that seems like a bad idea. The majority of things in this room carry weight, some kind of history or memory.

On my door there is a sheet of paper with reminders to myself written on it for things I need to bring to school that day. That sheet of paper has been on my door for almost four years now. Scotch tape is pretty resilient.

On my ceiling there are (technically) 8 glow in the dark bead stars and one moon. For two years they have been up there, and for two years, one of the stars has been dangling off the ceiling. There was some significance if that star was to fall, but the time for that significance has long since passed. Incidentally, all the stars are taped to my ceiling with Scotch tape as well.

Hm, well it's almost been an hour since I first started typing this thing. Between munching on pretzel sticks and clicking between the same five webpages, I can concluded I am no more or less tired than an hour ago....

Four years? Seriously? That little bit of clear Scotch tape can hold up for four freaking years? Holy crap, I need more of this stuff.

"Data, data, data, I cannot make breakthrough's without data" -Holmes

2010-01-08T13:43:00.002-05:00

Dear James Cameron and Guy Ritchie,

During a time span of 14 days, I have watched your movies of Avatar three times and Sherlock Holmes twice. I swear I now see everything in 3D and I anticipate the flower I keep poking at will glow in the dark at any moment now. Also, I want that zappy thingy, you know, the one that can launch a 200 pound man 5 feet into the air. Cool stuff.

Signed,
John

PS: Avatar still being sold at this many weeks after release? Seriously? Take that Twilight!

So...yeah, I've seen a lot of movies recently. Or rather, I've seen the same movies many times...in summary, the movies are like this

Avatar = (Day After Tomorrow + Terminator)^Pocahantas + (0.1)(Michael Bay)

Conclusion: Go see it. In 3D.

Sherlock Homes = (House x Wilson) - Medicine + Murders + Zappy Thingy

Conclusion: If you like House, you'll love this. If you like Holmes, go get yourself addicted to House (Hi Grace...)

- Insert transition because I sat here for 5 minutes and still can't think of one-

While up at 4am last night and pondering at work today, I began wondering about the point of this blog. After a few coffees and some popcorn I figured the best way to go about this is to not have a plan at all. The wonderful (and painfully hilarious) part of looking back at my old middle school xanga was to see how much I've changed over the years and what events took place that caused those changes. I never really recorded my thoughts down in a place during high school and so, unfortunately, the information and time lines have blurred together over the year and a half I've been in college. (Although I blame some of that memory loss on the wonderful food provided by the College Park diner.)

Also I figure a blog is the best way to keep a record of various lessons learned, funny moments, etc, and then come back in a few years to see if I still remember the context of what happened.

0. It is generally a bad idea to go to sleep at 5am before an 8 hour work day. Sometimes, it is a good idea.

1. Dangling a bamboo sandwhich in front of a starving Korean panda is cruel and most definitely unusual.

2. Tanks should have the courtesy of waiting for the Whack-a-Mole players to finish before ripping their faces off. It's good to be polite.

Ah, and retroactively,

-1: If you push really hard, you can use a chocolate bar as a marker. (Credited to Mike Xie)

And with that, I'm calling it. Time to make like a tree and get the **** out!

Is it Twenty Ten, or Two Thousand Ten?

2010-01-04T16:16:00.004-05:00

Hello 2010! The new year has finally arrived with the official end of the Steam holidays sales. Now I can finally kiss 2009 and about $80 or so goodbye. Time to embrace 2010, the start of a new year, heck, a new decade! Time to do the same old things all over again but I can feel refreshed by calling it the first time of the decade. Like the first Pepsi drink OF THE DECADE. My first sneeze OF THE DECADE. Last but not least my first “OMFG ITS 4AM WHY THE HECK AM I NOT ASLEEP YET WHEN I HAVE WORK TOMORROW”….OF THE DECADE! None of the above statements can be repeated with accuracy for another 10 years by which time I’ll be approaching 30…I shudder at the thought….

Anyways, on to new year resolutions!

1) Eat
2) Sleep
3) Breathe
4) Consume Pepsi
5) Finish some games
6) Play as a carry hero and solo mid
7) Spend less money on random things
8) Save up money and get a car, macro lens and a flash
9) Have a 1 to 1 ratio of time playing actual guitar and time spent air guitaring
10) Take more pictures
11) Update facebook / flickr pictures more than once every few months
12) Update this blog about as often as I update facebook / flickr
13) Break Java
14) Break a Macintosh
15) ROFL… at least once

All statements and conditions stated above are not guaranteed and are non-binding. No refunds or exchanges will be allowed. Certain tax fees may apply, be sure to check your local town center or Google for any applicable hidden fees. Be reading this statement, you waive the right to sue the poster of this blog for any injuries sustained during the reading of this blog. If you do sustain any injuries, I reserve the right to call you an idiot and laugh at you. Any side effects such as headaches, coughs, sneezes and delusions of grandeur are purely coincidental. If you experience any serious side effects or sudden loss of memory, please go see your doctor because you may have cancer or H1N1. Certain restrictions apply, void where invalid. Copyright 2010. All rights reserved.

And so…

the first relaunch of the To The Point Blog about life, games, current events, random rants, “lol wut?” moments, and who knows what else…

OF THE DECADE!